"People smile and tell me I'm the lucky one..."

Cycle 5 is officially over.  My period even came early... eager little bitch.  This one was especially tough though, I'm not sure why.  It could be because, I was hoping so much the my recent HSG was going to somehow clear a path for sperm to meet egg.  It could be because, my boobs were really sore this time. Hell, it could be because somewhere deep down, I really wanted to believe in my Mother's toothpaste-come-to-jesus confession.  Whatever it was, the BFN hit pretty hard this time.  It didn't help when my mother airily suggested that we just adopt... with the glibness of someone suggesting we just order chinese food instead of cooking dinner.

At my RE's office, they give the patients a little chart to take into the exam room for the nurse.  It's basically a little summary of your treatment history, diagnosis and plan.  At the bottom is a bunch of boxes with labeled with things like "tubal ligation reversal," "Male Factor Infertility," "Recurrent Miscarriage," "Luteal Phase Defect" and so on.  Until recently, my chart never had a check mark next to any of those boxes.  On my last visit, I discovered that I was finally given a check mark.  It was there, next to the box labeled "Unspecified Infertility."  Yep. I am an infertile of the "whothefuckevenknowswhy" variety.

So on deck we have our first Clomid cycle with HCG injection.  The syringe is chilling in the fridge amongst the dairy spreads... every time I look in there, I ask myself what I want on my bagel... butter, cream cheese or 50 cc's of ovidrel.

Major Questions:
Should New York State be divided into two separate states at to be known as NY and Adirondack?
Why is my cat so dusty?
Why won't they just let Olivia Benson be a lesbian for god's sake?

Weird Product Names:
Volcanic Milk: Explodes with Flavor! (right because when dairy is nothing without lava and ash)
Mustard Seed: Grow your own mustard plant-Yeah, that mustard! (thanks for clearing that up...i thought you meant the other mustard..?)


New Job Dept.:
My wife is now the official "sperm coordinator"

Names My Students have Given Me:
Roach
Auntie C
Cheetah Woman
Hater
Courtney the Unfun and Uncool