Had the second shot of sperm this morning. Unfortunately, we did not get the nice nurse. We got the russian nurse. I call her Nurse Ratched and I think she must have been a dominatrix before becoming an RN.
The other nurses are all very gentle and cautious while sticking various equipment into my vagina. Nurse Ratched wields the speculum as if it were the jaws of life and my pussy was a burning car with an old lady trapped inside. I swear to god she opens me up so wide, you could drive a semi up there. And yes, generally, the feeling of a catheter being threaded into your uterus is not exactly pleasant... but when Ratched does it, I literally have to grab the sides of the exam table so that I don't leap off and go running out the door in my adorable little paper dress. It feels like she's trying to pick a lock in there or something.
Honestly, She should just wear a leather catsuit under her lab coat and charge extra for an IUI with sadism.
So, now I'm home and I've got horrible cramps. Also, I'm incredibly pissed off. Why? Because, I've been doing another playthrough of Dragon Age: Origins and somehow, I've fucked up the romance quests for every single member of my squad. I think it's irreparable. This means that my awesome mage can't go back to camp and get some girl-on-girl action after killing a legion of darkspawn. Damn you, Bioware, for your complicated-as-hell dialogue trees.
Ok, Bioware, I apologize. You're still my favorite... even if your trees are convoluted. Someday, I might even forgive you for letting EA buy you out. But don't expect that anytime soon.
So, it's back to work tomorrow (cries) and we are officially in the TWW. Let the madness begin!
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