"So I was not lost or found."

It's 14 DPO and BFN.  It's also 14 DPO and no period.  At all. Whatsoever.

Fabulous.

Dear Monty,
You have been a huge part of our reproductive lives.  We have enjoyed looking at your picture and dreaming that someday, we have a child that looks like you.  We loved your curly blond hair and squinty little eyes.  But, we've tried you 5 times now, Monty.  5 tries with nothing to show for it.  So, we're cutting our losses and breaking up with you.  Sorry Monty.  We would have loved to have you as a part of our family (sort of).
Love, the B-C's


Dear Lance,
Welcome to our lives.  We will be using you to try and achieve our dream of having a child.  Please do a better job than Monty.  He was a bit of a disappointment.
Love, the B-C's


Dear Kirk,
If Lance doesn't work out, you are next in line.  I know you only have 21 straws left in the cryobank so, please donate more soon.  I think you are absolutely gorgeous and I wish my Wife had ordered you instead of Lance because I want you to be my baby daddy.
Love, Courtney


Dear Infertility,
Bite my balls. And die. Painfully.
Yours truly, Courtney


Dear Platypus,
You are truly a noble and fine creature.  I find the venomous spur on your back leg to be exquisite.  A rare marriage of form and function.  Never change.
Always, Courtney