"Don't mind me, I'm just a bit maniacal about you and derailed when I'm without you, don't mind me.

Can intense, gripping stomach pain that occurs every afternoon and is followed by a period of narcoleptic episodes be attributed to a possible pregnancy?

No, I didn't think so either.


Nonetheless, that's what I have.  Everyday.  Between the hours of 2-4.  Wheeeee!

Back on earth, our hero was having another motherhood fantasy:

For the last two years, I have given my father a very "special" gift for christmas.  You see, two years ago, when I asked what he wanted, he said "a big hug."  How could I refuse?  So, I bought 3 huge rolls of menorah wrapping paper (my dad is Jewish).  That christmas, as we sat around the tree opening gifts, I told my dad that I had left his in the car.  My Wife (girlfriend at that point) knew that was the cue for us to go out to the porch where I had stashed the wrapping paper, some tape and a gift tag.  Outside, My Wife went to work, wrapping me from head to toe in the menorah paper leaving only enough room for me to totter back into the house.  She steered me back into the living room where my parents, brother, and 3 aunts erupted with laughter at the giant waddling gift.  My dad came over and as soon as he tore through the paper around my head, I burst out of the wrapping and shouted "Hava Nagila" or whatever that Jewish song is, and gave him a big hug.  In between gasps for air and with tears in his eyes, he proclaimed the jewish christmas hug to be the best gift ever.

Needless to say, last year when I asked him what he wanted for Christmas, he replied "I would like another hug please."  Never one to refuse, I decided that, being newly married, my Wife and I should probably give a joint gift.  So I bought 4 rolls of Jewish wrapping paper.  On christmas morning, I told my dad that I had left his present in the car again.  Silly me.  This time, it took me, my wife and my brother to "retrieve" it.  On the porch, my brother struggled to wrap up me and my wife (squished together with our arms around each others waists).   Walking back inside required much more coordination but, under my brothers guidance, we made our grand entrance and again, we were greeted by the hysterical laughter of my parents and 3 aunts.  This time, as my dad unwrapped us, we burst through the paper and shouted "geffiltefish!" or whatever that revolting Jewish food is and swooped him up in a huge two-woman hug.

The plan for this Christmas was that we would already have a baby and there would be three people to wrap up.  Clearly, not going to happen.  I cry a little when I think about that.

8 DPO.