So, it's not bad enough that I'm not pregnant yet. No. The whole thing is made infinitely worse by the fact that since starting clomid and ovidrel and progesterone, my periods have gotten un-fucking-bearable.
Seriously. Clots the size of Yorkshire terriers are coming out of my body. I guess this is what I get for bragging about my super thick lining.... I get to feel every last centimeter of it cleaving off my uterus.
And here's some more good news: I may not even have any eggs. My wife is going to slaughter me for even bothering to entertain these thoughts but, honestly, it's a possibility. My AMH level was like .3 or something like that. It's supposed to be over 1. In older women, .3 equals ovarian failure (menopause). In people my age, it equals premature ovarian failure or, a wonky test. What's weird is that my FSH is perfect. I think it's around 4. Usually, in cases of premature ovarian failure the FSH is in the 20's. Also my antral follicle count is 24, which is awesome and I'm a mega-super-duper (not a technical term) responder to electron sized doses of clomid. The RE said that she seriously doubts that I have premature ovarian failure... but she added that, normally, an AMH of .3 means no eggs.
In summary: No one knows what the hell is going on and I may not have any eggs which at this point wouldn't even be surprising because pretty much everything else in this process has gone totally fucking wrong.
I'm not pregnant. Time to go smoke a bowl.
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2 comments:
I'm really sorry for the confusing AMH result. I am hopeful it's just a stupid lab error, since nothing else points to POF.
And IVF...aaaahhhh, IVF. It is scary and daunting and overwhelming and unfairly expensive. Yes, yes yes. But it also can work and has a much higher chance of success than IUI. I am not belittling the fact that it is a huge blow to have to pull out the 'big guns'--I think I cried for days when we decided to do IVF. But it can work (don't use me as any example of that, I'm the rare worst case scenario).
My advice: one test, one lab draw, one visit, one violating ultrasound, one shot at a time. It's all you can do. But you can do it :)
Thanks.... yeah, the initial shock was not pretty but, damn the torpedoes, I guess.
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