"Numb is an old hat..."

First things first:

LSU Tigers battle the Florida Gators this saturday at 2.  If Micah Gibbs is not catching, I will cry.  Go Tigers!

On the TTC front:
Dildo-cam this morning.  The results are in.  Three follicles (15, 18 and 20) and the lining is 7A.  Not thrilled about the lining.  Definitely going to demand that 7DPO progesterone draw.  The IUI #3 will be Sunday and Monday.  Yee-ha!

I hate my fucking job.

"Save a horse, ride a cowboy..."

My old boss had her baby.


Moving right along:

What is it about these NYC assholes who blow their horns while waiting for the light to change or waiting for the car in front of them to make a turn?  What the hell is that about?  People don't do that upstate.  I;m not sure if it's because "New Yorkers" are just that self important that they think they have universal right-of-way or if it's because they think that the sound waves coming from their horns help to propel traffic ahead more quickly.  It's just outrageous.  And what makes me even crazier is that um, this is NYC.  The land of the eternal traffic jam.  You can beep all you want but, I guarantee you that you will get stuck in traffic before you leave city limits.   So chill the hell out.

bye now.

"Ride that glory train!"

Yesterday, while walking back from the grocery store, my wife and I wound up discussing hell.  I have no comment about why the topic came up after being in the grocery store.  Anyway, she stated that she doesn't believe in hell.  I don't know why I never knew this about her... it seems like one of those questions that should be asked before marriage. 

 "Do you believe in eternal damnation?  You do?  Great, will you marry me?"  

Consequently, I was a bit shocked.  I asked "Well what do you think happens to all the assholes?" 

She said, "Nothing.  They just stop existing.  No spirit, no ghost... just gone."  

What the crap kind of punishment is that???  Seriously.  I do not think I could scrape myself out of bed in the morning if I didn't believe in a gruesome afterlife for the people who suck.  Because, it's not hard to be a good person.  Really, it's not.  In fact there are really only a few rules.  

-Don't hurt people/animals 

-Don't destroy stuff that's not your

-Don't take stuff that's not yours

-Don't be an asshole (this covers stuff like cutting in line, tailgating, honking the horn at red lights [?] stomping on hardwood floors while wearing high heels at midnight... you know... the stuff that makes you want to kill people...)

Basically, that's it.  So, if you can't even be bothered to follow those simple guidelines, there had better be a severe price to pay.  The assholes that I deal with on a day-to-day basis better have it coming.  I won't lie.  I love to fantasize about what's going to happen to these people after they die.  It really makes me smile.

When I said this to my wife, she ventured that maybe it's not healthy to expend so much emotional energy on the afterlives of people I hate.  

Is she fracking kidding??  I can think of no better way to make myself feel all warm and fuzzy.  In fact, I think I should be in charge of hell.  I could think of so many psyche-splintering punishments that would just glitter with razor sharp poetic justice.  And I've never even spit gum on the sidewalk.  Ever.  No hypocrisy at all.  That's what hell really needs at the helm.  A really honest, kind and good person with a dreadfully twisted mind.  Plus, who better to be in charge of hell then a lesbian?  

Is this why I can't get pregnant?

"That's the truth about men. That's the truth about us."

Today is CD 4.  Tomorrow is my last clomid tablet and then on friday, it's back to the stirrups for the dildo-cam.

I am dreading this cycle.  I am filled with loathing for every last step of it.  Contrary to my previously posted, brazen declarations of apathy, last cycle hit below the belt (heh... get it?  God, I'm funny!).  I remember that before we started trying, I was jokingly said to my wife "Can you imagine if I was infertile? You would have to commit me!"

My wife refuses to humor my magical thinking but, damn do these things come back to bit you in the ass.

Other things that bite you in the ass are rogue monkeys.  Seriously.  Watch the discovery channel.  Absolutely horrifying.

How's about a little motherhood fantasy?  Ok!

When my kid is old enough to understand an Xbox controller, the two of us are going to go to ikea and buy two really comfy gaming chairs.  We will build them together and then, I'll spend all afternoon teaching him (or her but, this is my fantasy and I want a boy!) how to play Mass Effect and Dragon Age and Oblivion.  I'll let him design our characters and make the decisions and I'll beat the parts that are too hard for him.  I'll teach him how to master the leveling systems and how to appreciate alternate playthroughs.  My wife will pop in and make us popcorn and be generally happy that she can have some free-time for crafting or whatever it is that she does in that other room.

Actually, this may be a fatherhood fantasy.

Lastly, I was told today by an Access-A-Ride driver that I remind her of Shane from the L-Word.  50XP for me.

"Take me for a trip upon your magic swirling ship.."

Well it's that time again.... Clomid time!  Wheeeee!

Because my pillow needs another layer of my hair.

This cycle, I'm going to demand that they do a 7DPO progesterone test.  It's such an easy fix, if that's the problem.

My wife is in Arizona until sunday night.

Um, so yeah about Tim Tebow... first round pick?  Very interesting.

But the real question is what's going on with Colt McCoy??  If he doesn't go in the 3rd round, I will be shocked as hell.

Question answered.  McCoy goes to the Browns in round 3 pick 85.

Also, I want a baby.

"I'll miss you till I meet you."

And it's CD1.

Oh rapture.

"Don't wake me, I plan on sleeping in..."

Spotting today.  I just want to get this bloodbath started so that we can move on.  I can't believe we're still not pregnant.

Cycle #8 and we're still not pregnant.