Thursday, May 27, 2010

"Guess you better slow that mustang down..."

I think it's time for a little motherhood fantasy:

My plan is that when our kids are in grade school, my wife and I are going to plan a surprise vacation... like to disney or something.  We will wake them up for school one monday morning and follow the usual morning routine.  The suitcases will already be packed and hidden in the back of the car and.  I'll tell the kids that their mother and I have a meeting to attend and that we will drop them off at school on the way.  I'll drive to the school but instead of pulling into the parking lot, I'll just blow past it and get on to the highway.
The kids will start yelling "Mom, you missed it!  You're going the wrong way!"  My wife will make a performance of being exasperated with me and then turn to the kids and say "Well, you'll be late to school anyway so we may as well just go to Disney World for a week..."

Oh, by the way... Clomid, round 4.  Yep, it's Clomid Sally in all her glory... hair falling out, crying jags, insecurity,  sweating,  grapefruit sized ovaries, the whole shebang.

In non-fertility related news, I met with the writing group for the first time last weekend.  Intimidated? You bet!  Impressed?  Beyond!

I need new sneakers.

On of my students (SC) informed me today that my dad was a cat.  A cat with a needle in his head.

Monday, May 24, 2010

"Everyday is a winding road..."

Today was another trip up vagina lane with a stick.  I still have ovaries, despite evidence to the contrary.  I really like the way they do the ultrasound and blood appointments at American Fertility.  There was no real "cattle call" and I was in and out in under 20 minutes.  The ultrasound tech was totally into explaining everything on the screen and she didn't ram the dildo-cam up into me like she was trying to pack the powder into a canon.  Overall, a success.

Back at the ranch, what the hell is going on with this font size?  It's out of control! 

PS- Dear "Lost"
          I'm glad you are all dead.  What a shitty ending!  I want my friggin 6 years back!  Bastards.

Friday, May 21, 2010

"I'm sensitive and I'd like to stay that way."

Today I had one of those moments that really made me love my job.  I had called the mother of one of my students to see if we could take a team approach to convincing him to use Access-A-Ride instead of riding the yellow school bus to program.  This individual is extremely high functioning and has total capacity for independent travel.

The moment I said this to his mother, the woman absolutely unloaded on me.  She spilled her guts about how she's getting older and wants to retire but, she gets no support from her family when she tries to push her son to be as independent as possible.  She would love to see him holding down a part-time job and living in an assisted living apartment but, he family acts like she's abandoning he child.  

She thanked me for agreeing with her and totally she is completely on-board.  I told her that lots of parents tend to face these issues and that's why I like to make sure the parents of my students who live at home know that they are part of team whose goal is to have the student be as independent as they can be.  

It was awesome.  Very few of my students live in agency residences so, I get to know their families really well.  I love when the families get really involved and want to be a part of the team.

Anyway, that was the good part.

The bad part was we finally got a raise for the first time in 3 years.  It was a paltry $20 more per 70 hour pay period.  That's $10 per week.  Wheeeeeeee.  Honestly, its so insulting, I'd almost rather they didn't bother.
Wednesday, May 19, 2010

"Sittin on the dock of the bay watchin' the tides roll away..."

And so it ends.  The spotting has begun, the BFN, confirmed.  Tomorrow we begin cycle #9.  Yee-ha!

Could somebody stop the infertility?  I'd like to get off now.

The upswing is that, we will be under the care of Dr. Karpenko at American Fertility.  During my first consultation, she basically satisfied my suspicions that Dr. David B. Seifer is a complete moron and should not be trusted.  She wants to do one more Clomid IUI (this time with the proper progesterone support and estrogen if necessary) before we bring out the big guns.  I'm not sure what the big guns involve but, I believe that they involve suitcases full of money.  I think we may switch back to Monty because he had a better sperm count.

In other news, my mother called me this morning.

Mom: Hi honey, what's going on?

Me: Not much, I'm still at work finishing up some stuff for my meeting tomorrow.

Mom: Oh.  You know, I just get chills every time I think of all the good you do for those people at that job of yours.

Me: What?

Mom: You know... How much joy and happiness you bring to these "handicapped" people's lives.

Me: It's "Disabled" or "physically/intellectually challenged."  Also, I dunno how much joy I bring them.  Today, I spent the afternoon telling them I would nail their tongues to my bulletin board if they made one more sound.

Mom: But I bet they laughed, didn't they?

Me: Yeah... I suppose they did... I'm going to have to work on scarier threats.
Tuesday, May 11, 2010

"I have become comfortably numb"

I had to take a short fertility break for the last couple days.  It was just too much.

But anyway, I'm 9DPO today.  I have nothing to say about this cycle so far.  If it works, it works, if not... I have an appointment with American Fertility on friday at 2:30.  So long, Genesis Fertility in Brooklyn.  You suck big hairy follicles!

Also, I have not tested.  Even once.  I just can't do it.

Is it my turn yet?
Wednesday, May 5, 2010

"I just wanna be mad for awhile"

We had IUI #3 done last Sunday and Monday.  Not too much to report other than the fact that we used Lance instead of Monty.  Pretty standard all around.

What I would like to report on is my experience at Genesis Fertility in Brooklyn under the care of Dr. David B. Seifer.  

My experience at Genesis has been that of a cow being taken to market.  I find Genesis to be the coldest, most impersonal, most frustrating and least caring medical facility I have ever used.  Women are hustled through their appointments like parts on the assembly line.  The results of my blood tests were never shared with me unless I asked and even when I did ask, I was given the least amount of vague information possible and treated as though I shouldn't be worrying about the "technical" parts.  

I have had 3 IUI's each done over the course of two days.  That's six inseminations.  Never once did I have the same nurse performing these procedures.  While these nurses were all very pleasant (except one nurse who was extremely rude to my wife), it was disconcerting to have a different face in my nether regions each time.  

Dr. Seifer has proven to be arrogant and snotty.  Since the initial consultation, Dr. Seifer has become totally inaccessible.  He wouldn't even say hello to me when he saw me in the waiting room.  He has refused to give direct answers to my questions and to me, it feels like he has a warped sense of superiority.  It's as if Dr. Seifer is an extension of god's penis... bringing babies to the broken women of Brooklyn.  Don't question him... obey the holy penis!  

Attesting to this is the fact that I have asked him many times to test my thyroid because hypothyroidism (a leading cause of infertility) runs in my family.  To my knowledge, he has not checked my thyroid levels and if he has, he certainly hasn't shared the results with me.  Because hypothyroidism can cause implantation failure and low progesterone (an integral hormone in both conception and pregnancy development), I requested to be prescribed progesterone supplements.  Even without low progesterone, supplements have been shown to only help and not harm developing pregnancies.  
I was told that I was not a candidate by the nurse (the mean one).  Most infertility specialists prescribe them as a matter of routine.  There is no such thing as a "candidate."  So, I placed a call to Dr. Seifer hoping that he would understand why I felt that this was important.  My call was not returned until almost 10:00 PM.  When he did call, Dr. Seifer was beyond rude.  In response to my request, he asked me "Well, are you having multiple miscarriages?"  Um, hello... of course not!  I can't get pregnant at all, you dick!  
I told him about the research I had been doing on the importance of progesterone and he said to me "Fine.  Whatever.  If you want to go through the trouble... whatever.  Call my nurse in the morning."  

And then he hung up on me.

That fucking prick.

I'm not a very demanding patient.  I pretty much do what I'm told, I rarely question my doctor and I'm pretty easygoing.  I don't need this kind of shit from him.  

Goodbye and fuck off Genesis Fertility and Dr. David B. Seifer.  I wouldn't recommend you to a dog who wanted to get pregnant. 

Additionally, I did finally get the progesterone supplements.  They are absolutely disgusting to use but, at least it's something new to try.